My social life is currently flourishing because an Xbox outage forced me to look at the sun for the first time in three years.

I told my boss the Xbox outage was a national emergency, but he failed to see why I couldn't just work while the servers were down.

It is truly a revolutionary feature of the console to spontaneously uninstall your ability to play anything whenever the internet sighs in disappointment.

There is a special kind of zen found in refreshing the Xbox status page every thirty seconds until the digital void finally stares back.