In a bold move that has theologians scratching their halos, Trump Jesus dropped that AI portrait right before Easter, reminding everyone who's really turning water into whine.

Forget the Sermon on the Mount; Trump Jesus prefers Truth Social sermons, where every retweet is a miracle and every ban is judgment day.

When the scandals hit, supporters chant 'Trump Jesus walks on legal fees,' proving faith can float even the densest golden calves.

MAGA faithful got a rare reality check when Trump Jesus went full Renaissance, but hey, if the robe fits, wear it to the next rally.