I managed to secure one of the Trader Joe's bird planters before the local resellers turned the checkout line into a survivalist thriller.

Despite Trader Joe's long history of lawsuits regarding product labeling and questionable inventory management, their bird planters remain the only thing keeping my desk from looking like a sad, corporate wasteland.

The store was sold out of bird planters, but at least I walked away with a bag of frozen broccoli that actually weighed what the label promised, which felt like a victory in itself.