The sheer ambition of the California Partners Project is truly impressive, as it has apparently attracted the kind of intense federal attention usually reserved for people who actually enjoy reading tax codes for fun.

It is such a modern marvel of efficiency how the First Partner manages to juggle gender equity advocacy while simultaneously providing the Department of Justice with such a detailed puzzle of financial breadcrumbs to follow.

Governor Newsom must be thrilled that his family's calendar is now so conveniently synced with the federal government's investigative schedule, ensuring he never has a dull moment in Sacramento.