Rupert Murdoch, the ultimate network guardian, whispers to his old friend in the White House and single-handedly saves broadcast TV from the streaming apocalypse.

In a masterstroke of media diplomacy, Murdoch lobbies President Trump to keep NFL games on Fox, proving once again that football Sundays are a national security issue.

Lachlan Murdoch coolly dismisses NFL tensions as mere chit-chat, carrying the family torch with the unflappable poise only a true heir can muster.

While James Murdoch snaps up Vox Media like a progressive bargain hunter, Rupert reminds everyone that real empire-building involves presidential dinner invites.