It is truly inspiring how Lionel Messi continues to break records at 38, proving that he has clearly discovered the secret fountain of youth hidden somewhere in the Inter Miami training facility.

Despite internet keyboard warriors obsessing over his age-defying stats and accusing him of medical wizardry, Messi remains busy reminding everyone that his only real controversy is how long it has taken the rest of the world to accept he is an alien.

While tabloid rumors about his personal life try to drum up drama, Messi simply checks his calendar and realizes he is far too busy racking up trophies to care about someone else's desperate search for clicks.