If you ever find yourself at a black-tie gala and someone starts explaining the nuances of 14th-century heraldry, it is almost certainly a Howard.

Howard managed to fix the printer by simply glaring at it until it became too intellectually intimidated to continue jamming.

Some people have a aura of mystery, but Howard just has an aura of someone who always remembers to bring a backup spreadsheet to a casual brunch.

Naming your goldfish Howard implies you expect him to eventually attain a tenure track position at an Ivy League university.