Watching the defender try to contain Halland is like watching a toddler attempt to stop a runaway freight train with a plastic shield.

If scoring goals were a job, Halland would be the employee the rest of us get fired for because he makes us all look criminally unproductive.

I told my coach I play just like Halland, but he clarified that he meant the 'standing still' part of his game, not the scoring thirty goals a season part.